Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Call Any Vegetable ...

(Which is pretty much how I'm feeling these days) ... Or ask any writer who's freelance about the joys of freelancery. And they'll tell you, if they're honest, about the phenomenon known as "feast or famine."

There are times when the phone doesn't ring. (Or vibrate, or squeal like a pig, or play the opening from Ravel's Bolero, or do any one of a thousand other bizarre novelty tones that are supposed to charm other people, but instead generally just ensure that you get the entire seat to yourself even during rush hour.) No one wants to talk to you, to hear you pitch those great ideas in your head, like Neville Chamberlain being trapped in the bunker with Hitler or King Arthur revived as a 21st Century superhero, or even General U.S. Grant getting a talking horse just before Shiloh, which is comic GOLD, those Philistines! (especially with Justin Timberlake as Grant, trust me, it's not like he's fending off casting agents with a pointed stick these days.)

And no one calls. And no one calls. And no one calls, day after day, until you're perfectly willing your own self to squeal like a pig if it'll guarantee you an assignment. You're at the point of desperation where you'll stand on a street corner and hold up a sign that says "Will
work for Disney."

And then the phone rings. It's not much money, and even less time, but you'll do it, if only to alleviate the boredom. And then the phone rings again. And again. And you grab all the work you can, because who knows when it stops this time it might never ring again, and finally,
when the smoke clears you realize you're standing atop a mountain of assignments like Conan, only that ain't a naked Brythunian slave girl wrapped around your leg; it's a killer deadline.

So -- guesss which state I'm in right now.


Anonymous said...

Hello, Mr. Reaves.

Chad Fifer and Chris Lackey read some of your notes regarding The Thing on the Doorstep this past Thursday (the 12th). I suppose we have you to thank for The Collect Call of Cathulhu? I stumbled across that episode a while ago. I didn't remember it from watching the series when I was a kid, but it's a fun one, and it's surprised me how immediately familiar all those musical cues felt :) Thanks for entertaining this kid, once every twenty years or so.

-Mike J.

DTG said...

I'm right there with Mike J. Collect Call of the Cthulhu was a joy to find on YouTube and remember. Thanks so much for your notes that added so much to the Podcraft that I truly enjoy every minute of.

I'm also writing in to thank you for Werewolf Cops, err, I mean Full Eclipse. When I was in college and hanging with all my horror buff friends a buddy of mine asked if any of us remember the movie about werewolf cops. We all did. We all did because of sneak watching HBO when our parents were out of the room when we were in middle school. Or at least that is my story.

I've since blogged about the remembering and the HPpodcraft with your notes and with a link to your IMDB credentials. Hopefully some of my buddies will be writing in to thank you for a fulfilling childhood and beyond as well.

Captain Power? Why did that not take off? I bought the toy so I could play along during the ending credits.

I'd also like to point out to readers that your episode of Isis is available on Hulu at this link: http://www.hulu.com/watch/178147/the-secrets-of-isis-bigfoot#s-p4-so-i0

Keep on keeping on Mr. Reaves and thanks for my most awesome childhood! Cthulhu fthagn!

Sandra G said...

My thing is books. Walking into a bookstore feels as thrilling to me as a shopping spree down Rodeo mighty feel to the Kardashians. It’s about the weight of the tome in my hands, the secret of the hidden messages on the paper, the promise of a good story. On the other hand, the sight of a pretty dress on a store’s window it’s just that: a pretty dress. It might serve its purpose once, but the moment it’s shed from the body that worn it, it’s nothing but a piece of cloth.
Things can tell stories, archeology can attest to that. But at the end of the day stories are the ones that withstand the test of time.
And come on Michael, give women some credit. Rodeo Dr. really? We are a lot smarter than that.