Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Bad Ol' Puddy Tat Blues

I think cats must lead lives of perennial existential despair. Think about it. A cat operates heavily on instinct; not surprising when you consider its frontal lobes are the size of a shelled peanut. I remember one time our cat got out and didn't stop at the stairs -- instead she kept going. I watched for a second before we opened a can of food and hauled her up short, and every line in her furry body was saying "YES!!!" It's like she realized in that moment what was missing. Now consider the fact that a cat has a theory of mind comparable to a rhododendron bush. It doesn't wonder if other cats feel this way; it's open to question if it wonders about other cats, period. As far as it knows, it's the only cat who's ever felt this way. And we've already established that a cat's hippocampus works in nanoseconds, so I wouldn't count on it retaining long, nostalgic memories. Given all this, we're pretty much forced to one conclusion: that when your puddy tat sprawls languorously on the couch, staring off into space, it's not relaxing; on the contrary, it's caught in the throes of an existential crisis that would make Sartre run for the nearest exit. In effect, it's thinking that there's something missing in its life, something very important, but it can't quite remember what. So it lolls about in despair, and you think it wants its belly scratched, when in reality it's wracking its poor excuse for a brain for the answer to the ultimate ontological mystery. No wonder they're stoned on catnip most of the time.


joe said...

Hi Mike - A voice from the past, thought I'd reach out. It's been quite a while.

Couldn’t find an email address so I thought I’d try this blog.
Took to heart what you wrote.

If you don’t or can’t communicate back in response, I’d understand.

Joe Zucker

kate said...

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My husband suffered parkinson and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony of so many people who was cured from parkinson, and so many other with similar body problem, and they left the contact of this doctor who had the herbal cure to  parkinson I never imagined  parkinson has a cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my husband will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my husband used it and in one months he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life. parkinson has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony .